All Around Me
by Snidget1559
Summary: She had left him all alone without her. I couldn't believe it myself. All this time, I'd been watching HER with MY Eli. I was caught between wanting the best for him, and the envy I felt for Clare and how desperate I was for Eli to be with me again.


All Around Me

_Julia_

He was left alone on that bench. Their bench. Left to wonder what would become of him… and her. The fight replayed over and over in his head, and he tried to make sense of the consequences.

"_I think we need to take a breather," _she had said.

"_You're _suffocating_ me!"_ She screamed.

Finally the meaning set in. She had left him… all alone… without her. I couldn't believe it myself. All this time… I had been watching them, watching _her_ with _my_ Eli. I was caught between wanting the best for him, and the envy I felt for Clare and how desperate I was for Eli to be with _me_ again. It seemed like as soon as I was out of the picture, Eli was happier… _without_ me. I felt simply thrown away; it just wasn't fair.

I began to believe that Eli had forgotten me. But I realized that when he was alone, that he needed me more than ever. Not even Clare Edwards knew that Eli's entire room was not only the result of a year's worth of hoarding, but a _shrine_ built to me. Every memory he ever had of _us_ was stored in his room.

And it enabled my spirit to have a stronger hold on him. Like a lichen to a rock. I held onto him like a parasite, and he encouraged it. My influence was so dominant sometimes that in some way I had become a part of Eli, but I wasn't the same as I was in my passed life. My emotions were so much more intense and extreme, which took form in Eli. He knew I was there. Sometimes he accepted my influence, sometimes he fought against my will.

The moment he gained realization of his and Clare's breakup, every emotion, every angry feeling he ever had, broke free from his control. It began to boil over in his veins. And all this anger…he focused on _me_.

Unexpectedly, he rose from the bench, slammed Morty's door, and drove away in a fury. I followed him to the old decrypted church he and Clare often hung out at.

I scrutinized his next move, and looked about the place. He never told Clare, but this was the very church my funeral took place at. In his frustration after my death, he burned it to the ground, almost succeeding at killing himself. He returned to this hallowed spot now out of frustration yet again.

He opened Morty's trunk, rummaging through all of the junk, and pulled out a large framed picture of us. The same one used at my funeral service. He made his way to the area that used to be the front of the church. Eli furiously pushed away the boards which covered the spray-painted words, _'Eli + Julia,'_ and propped the picture on a remaining ledge in front of our names. He leaned against the wall for a moment, breathing treacherously.

In one fluid movement he returned to Morty's trunk, toting his father's shotgun alongside him. Comprehension sunk in at last: he was trying to destroy my memory. Anger hit me ruthlessly, it was the same feeling as being hit by that car almost a year ago; and it reflected blackly in Eli's eyes. Our supernatural-connection was stronger than it had been since my death.

I shouted at him from inside his own mind, _'No.'_ His intentions remained the same. '_Eli. Don't do it.'_ I screamed.

_Eli_

'_Why should I listen to you?'_ I hissed. In response, a vision flashed behind my eyes of our fight, right before her death.

'_You know why Eli. If you do this, I'm _never_ coming back. _Never_. And you'll have _nothing_.'_

I gritted my teeth. _'I could have had Clare… if it wasn't for _you_.' _

'_Clare?'_ She laughed, _'You really think you belong with _her_? You really think she ever wanted _you_? Who could? You're crazy!'_

I fought against her, _'No…' _

'_What _sane_ person could be having this conversation right now? With their _dead_ ex-girlfriend?' _

'_No…' _

'_I'm the only thing you have left and yet…you want to get rid of _Me_.?'_

I snapped, "Clare HATES me! …because of you."

She laughed a shrill, menacing laugh- which fed my anger.

"This is all your fault!" I took a deep breath and looked at the picture. "You ruined my life. But not anymore."

I closed my eyes, and shot.

Steadily I peeked from behind my eyelids. The picture was completely intact. I couldn't bring myself to do it; instead I hit a nearby tree.

She smiled victoriously, _'You're still _my_ Eli.'_ And after this, her hold on me was greater than ever. I was putty in her hands.

I could do nothing but gaze into her picture, Julia's eyes staring right back at me and piercing through my soul. '_Don't worry,'_ she whispered softly in my ear, _'you'll be with me again soon enough.'_


End file.
